In the wake
of recent events, Remus spent much of the day in contemplation. He had never
considered himself especially handsome or striking. And his opinion of himself
had certainly not improved with age. He had always been a bit skinny and
tired-looking, scars covered his body, and his hair was grayer now than ever
before. Now that the full moon was almost upon him again, he was even scruffier
than usual.
Yet, for
some reason Remus could not grasp, people seemed to find him attractive. Presented
with the opportunity, the Weasley twins and Oliver Wood had practically jumped
at the idea of sex with him and had not taken ‘no’ for an answer. There was
Sturgis Podmore who had happily come back for more even after so many years.
There were dozens of men at the club who had considered him in addition to
actually going with him. And there was, of course, Severus Snape who seemed
incredibly taken with Remus to the point of replicating the fantasy in public.
Ever since
he had watched himself being fucked, Remus had been bouncing around an idea and
after all his thinking today, he found himself ready to go ahead with it. His
curiosity and thirst for understanding would not be denied. He had to know what
others saw in him, felt in him.
And for
that, there was really only one solution. Briefly he had considered going to
the club with a hankie with a pattern of bubbles upon it and tracking down the
man Snape had approached just a little over a week ago. But instead, he turned
to the one person who would be able to pull of an impersonation job flawlessly,
the person who knew him better than anyone else in the world.
“You really
want me to do this?” Sirius asked, staring down the goblet in his lap. Remus
had promised he hadn’t brewed the potion himself but that the potion came from
a reliable source nonetheless.
“Yes,
please. I have to understand.”
“Then I
will try again to explain it to you,” Sirius offered. “Because it isn’t just
your mind or your heart that I find attractive. You really are sexy, Remus.”
That was
hard to believe, coming from Sirius. Sirius always saw more to him than his
looks. Remus rolled his eyes and stared at the goblet until Sirius got the
picture. “Alright. Bottoms up.” He winked then gulped down the contents.
The change
was quick but hardly instantaneous. Remus watched, spellbound, as his Sirius
transformed. Seconds later, he was staring at himself. “This is so strange,” he
whispered, cocking his head and seeing the other him remain still. “Not at all
like looking into a mirror. Wait, I really look like this?” Remus pulled a
face. It looked strange to be seeing himself as others did, but that was the
point of this exercise.
The other
Remus nodded back. “You look sexy. I look
sexy.”
Remus started
to object, but there was something about it that caught him. Like seeing
himself, he heard his voice but it didn’t sound exactly the same as inside his
head. It was hard not to trust something he was saying, however. It was
strangely reassuring.
“My eyes
are so deep and lovely.” Remus looked into his own amber-brown eyes. “My face
is bold and gentle.” The corners of Remus’ mouth curled upwards as the other
Remus’ finger ran up down his cheek and traced his jaw line. “And I am tall and
well built.”
Listening
to his own voice saying these things turned him on unexpectedly. It was one
thing to heard them in general, or to hear them from Sirius, but another
altogether to hear it from himself.
“Can’t you
believe me now that you can see yourself?”
Remus wasn’t
sure what he believed. But he knew what he wanted. “Let me see all of myself.”
As the other Remus took off his clothes, Remus slid his hands down his pants.
He simply couldn’t help it. It wasn’t so much that he found himself sexy… it
was that he… he was there. And, well, he didn’t know what it was, really. But
he was turned on. Undeniably.
“Remus?”
said Remus, in a tone of voice that just screamed Sirius. Remus snapped back.
“If this is too much for you, I can go hide in the bathroom for the rest of the
hour.”
Remus shook
his head and looked up and down the other Remus’ body, studying it curiously.
He really was too skinny. Old, scarred, wrinkled. Then his eyes fell and rested
upon his cock. But even that looked normal. He couldn’t understand…
“Touch it.”
Remus looked up, and the other Remus nodded back down towards his cock. “Touch
it. And touch yourself.”
Remus
obeyed himself. He had no choice. Fingertips caressing the soft skin, following
veins, lines, curves. His hand wrapped around and tightly and felt the warmth
and heaviness. He touched until he grew hard, until they were both hard and he
was rubbing two identical cocks in time. Their breaths sounded the same. But the
blissful expression on the other Sirius’ face made his face look… not quite so
bad as Remus had thought at first upon seeing himself, actually. It looked
good, it felt good, and Remus thought he could actually see why Sirius liked
making him look like this.
“You should
see the rest,” said the other Remus, standing up and turning around slowly to
give Remus a full view of his own body.
Remus stood
as well, touching the other Remus’ back, studying the details in a way he had
never been able to do before. His arse was… far nicer than he’d thought it
would look. And, suddenly, he wanted to know what it would feel like to be
inside it. Remus quickly pulled off his clothing and then continued with the
touching. He squeezed his double’s arse cheeks, then rubbed his cheek against
the back of his double’s neck, which made the hair on the back of his stand up.
This was all very strange.
When he
penetrated, and heard his own gasp of pleasure even though he hadn’t gasped,
the strangeness of the situation only intensified. He felt wonderful, though.
Both of him. The way he felt to be inside and the way he felt around himself. He
wasn’t as tight as he had assumed, but there was just enough there to surround
him warmly, pleasingly.
But he
pulled out before he was done and grabbed hold of Remus-who-was-really-Sirius
in a very convincing sort of way. “I want you to fuck me the way I fuck you. I
want to feel that. To be taken by… me.”
Sirius
turned and grabbed a hold of Remus’ shoulders. Remus’ playful smile was
infectious, so they both sported it as the fake Remus pushed the real one down
onto the bed. Remus had his hands pulled up above his head and held tightly at
the wrists as the other Remus’ cock thrust in and out. The strokes were long
and strong and Remus, the real Remus, was delighted by the fullness of his cock.
The sensation of his body riding him, touching him, taking him. The movements
that were swift, steady, and terribly satisfying. He’d never imagined it felt
quite this good to be on the receiving end.
And when it
was finished, he lay beside himself in bed, relishing in it all. “That was
fantastic,” he breathed, running his hand through his hair. He was still
staring at his body, but this time he was inspecting his actual body, not his
double’s. Sure it was scarred and imperfect but it was so capable of feeling
such enjoyment and causing such enjoyment as well.
“It’s your
glow,” the other Remus said, reading his expression and his thoughts. “You have
so much depth and potential. Can you not see it? Everyone else can.”
Remus
turned his head to look over at the other Remus’ face. “I’m not sure. But I
feel it now.”
The other
Remus chuckled. “So this wasn’t an entirely fruitless effort, then?” Remus
chuckled along with him, shaking his head. “Good. Because I don’t want you
doubting yourself again any time soon. People find you attractive. Just deal
with it.” Still chuckling a little, Remus couldn’t argue with himself. He
agreed to deal and forget about over-thinking it. At least for a while.