Like every
night this month, every night before it, and every night after it, the club was
packed full to capacity with half naked, dancing men. Like every night, the
music blared so loud one couldn’t hear himself think. Like every night, men
wandered around in search for each other, in search of a good fuck, in search
of love.
But tonight
was different for Remus Lupin. Tonight he wasn’t compelled to go on patrol,
staring at every man’s back pocket for a match. When he finally admitted to
himself what he actually wanted, tonight none of them had it.
Remus stood
in the doorway, candlelight from the lanterns in the hallway glowing behind him
so that he cast a large shadow over the room. It was late and Sirius had already
gone to bed for the night.
Sirius lay
there in Remus’ bed instead of his own, hugging Remus’ pillow with his arms
around one end and his cheek resting on the other. He was curled around it, the
covers draped over him, up to his shoulders.
Remus
sighed at the sight and silently shut the door behind him. Then he stripped off
his clothes and made for the dresser. He slid the top drawer open slowly, the
wood scraping softly with a sound that filled the entire room.
Stirring,
Sirius smacked his lips and opened his eyes, looking up at Remus. “Going out
again, are you?” he asked with a nod to the drawer where Remus kept his
handkerchiefs.
But instead
of a hankie in any of a hundred colors, Remus pulled out a pair of pajamas and
then walked to the bed. “No, I’m not.” As he sat down on the bed, his skin
rubbed pleasantly against the satin sheets and he suddenly had no desire to
dawn pajamas. Instead, he pulled up the covers and slid beneath.
He loved
the feeling of the several layers of covers weighing heavily down upon him as
he lay naked beneath them. But even more than that, he loved the feeling of
curling up around his lover’s body. He wrapped his arms around Sirius and
nuzzled his face into the back of Sirius’ neck, the long black hair tickling
his face. “Sorry to wake you,” whispered Remus, not really feeling the least
bit sorry.
Sirius
shook his head. “Didn’t. Wasn’t really asleep,” he lied. “Was waiting for you.”
He yawned a yawn that took hold of his whole body and make him shake his head
just after from the force. It also helped to wake him up just a little more.
“How’d you
know to wait?” Remus asked, his voice muffled into Sirius’ neck still.
Shrugging, “I
always wait for you.” He blinked a few times, trying to stay awake, though it
was hard to do with Remus all warm and comfy around him now. “So how was your
night? What color hankie were you sporting?”
Remus
smiled and snuggled further into Sirius. Technically there was a color for
this. “I don’t own one of that color and, in fact, I don’t own any hankies of
other colors anymore either. I’m not going out for that ever again.”
Sirius
looked back over his shoulder, straining to get a good look at Remus. “Is there
something wrong with you? Have you got a fever after being out in the rain last
night?” He moved, intending to leave the comfort for a moment to turn and feel
Remus’ forehead for fever. He hoped it was just a fever and not Remus going
mental on him all of a sudden.
But Remus
hugged him too tightly for him to move and Remus shook his head. “When I said I
wanted you, I meant it. I want you and only you. And I think I want to give us
a shot again.”
Sirius
blinked again, but not for the same reason as before. “And what if you get hurt
again?”
Thinking
back to the night before, remembering the pain and humiliation and hatred of it
all, Remus gave another shake of his head. Nothing could possibly hurt as much
as the pain he was sure he’d caused Sirius, even if Sirius would never admit
it. “I’m prepared. But I’m staying with you, if you’ll have me.” After all, if
he didn’t even make an attempt, he would be doing a disservice to them both. Remus
snuggled closer.
“Mmmm,”
Sirius sighed, relaxing back into the pillow and Remus. “You want to cuddle?”
Remus
replied with an affirmative, snuffly, warm grunt of sorts and kissed the back
of Sirius’ neck. Prying his arm from around Sirius’ middle, Remus reached down
and played with the waistband of Sirius’ boxers. “I believe the question should
be: do you want to cuddle?”
Sirius
chuckled. “With you? Always.” And he meant it when he said ‘always’.
Grinning,
Remus carefully pulled the boxers down past Sirius’ hardening cock and caressed
Sirius’ arse. His body ground into Sirius’ back, skin rubbing against skin,
warm and cozy beneath the covers. He rubbed his cheek against the soft pillow
and kissed Sirius’ neck and shoulder blades repeatedly. “Oh, Sirius,” he
sighed, rubbing his cock between Sirius’ arse cheeks. When he reached forward
he found nothing but hardness and heat.
Remus made
an approving sound. He touched his own cock and spread quite a lot of pre-come
over the head of it. That was enough but Remus hesitated.
“I’m
ready,” Sirius insisted. “Just…” His voice died away as Remus gently took
Sirius’ cock in hand again and stroked.
Then Remus
slid into Sirius deeply and sighed just as deeply. “Ohhhhh Sirius,” he
repeated. He snuggled the man as close to him as he could, taking care to
stroke Sirius’ cock smoothly and swiftly in just the way Sirius liked. Remus’
hips jerked forward and rocked back, slipping in and out with a steady rhythm.
There was nothing but warmth and love, touch and feeling.
“Oh!” Remus
gasped a few minutes later, snuggling into Sirius’ back as though he couldn’t
get enough and didn’t want Sirius to go.
“Remus!”
Sirius finished for him, echoing the high-pitched desperation.
It took
Remus only a few more strokes before they both came, in near silence, their
bodies simultaneously shaking, tensing, freezing, and relaxing.
Lying there
inside of Sirius, Remus waited a moment to savor the moment before he pulled
out and took his hand away from Sirius’ flaccid cock. He wiped the spilled seed
from his hand and onto the fitted bed sheet in front of them. He tugged Sirius’
boxers back into place. Then he wrapped his arms around Sirius in an even
tighter and tenderer hug than before.
“Sirius,”
he whispered. “C’mere. Away from the wet spot.”
Sirius
turned from his left side onto his right, snuggling into Remus’ chest with a
content sigh. The heat they had generated beneath the covers was so great that
Remus reached out and rested his arm on top of the covers. However he kept both
wrapped around Sirius, still cuddling. He breathed out hesitantly, letting the
fluttering in his stomach settle into the comfort of the situation. “Love you,”
Remus whispered.
“Love you,
too,” Sirius replied automatically with another sleepy yawn. “This reminded me
of Hogwarts. I love snuggle sex with you.”
Remus chuckled,
recalling how they used to squeeze into the same bed, using the blankets and
pillows to muffle the sounds of their late night lovemaking so their roommates
wouldn’t hear. He smiled as the slow thumping of Sirius’ heart, the warm breath,
and Sirius’ scratchy stubble against his skin brought him back to the present. He
kissed Sirius’ forehead, then watched a smile grow on Sirius’ face. More
importantly, he had one on his own. “Me, too,” he whispered, closing his eyes
and thinking about all the reasons he had to stay right where he was.