Title: Schoolboy Crushes

Author: Kate of Kintail

Fandom: Harry Potter, Marauder 5^th year

Rating: PG

Pairings: none really, just a couple innocent crushes

Disclaimer: The boys aren’t mine. That’s just how it goes. Please don’t sue me. I’m pretty much broke. Writing just keeps me happy :-)

Summary: Remus seems to be in love for the first time. Sirius is sent to deal with him.

Notes: This story was inspired by a single line near the end of Diana William’s Flavor #6 fic- http://www.livejournal.com/users/dkwilliams/21881.html

Schoolboy Crushes

It would have been clear, even to a blind troll: Remus Lupin was hopelessly in love. And his three closest friends had to agree that it was most sickening. He practically skipped rather than walked. He almost always wore a dreamy, thoughtful expression on his face. And he spent quite a lot of time sighing after long, thoughtful moments.

“Someone should talk to him about it,” James suggested, his voice quiet even though they were sure from the Marauder’s Map that Remus was still in the library.

Peter shifted around on James’ bed. Sitting cross-legged too long had caused his foot to fall asleep and he wanted to move it and stretch out his legs before the gentle tingling stage made way for the violent, spiking pain stage. He nodded towards James, however. “You’re right, someone should,” he agreed with James, as he always did.

Simultaneously, they turned their heads towards Sirius. Sirius held up both hands. “Whoa! Oh no!” He shook his head emphatically. “Not me.” James raised a hand to make some sort of gesture and opened his mouth to try and convince him. “I said no!” he stressed.

“But Padfoot, think about it. Coming from you…” Peter didn’t seem to want to continue the explanation and hoped that was enough to get his point across.

“Wormtail’s right,” James nodded. “He trusts you. And you’re… well, known for…” He trailed off, not wanting to risk being in trouble with his friend. “Ah, you’re more experienced in these matters than we are.” Sirius rolled his eyes. “Well you are!” James insisted.

Sirius sighed and shook his head, but did not protest further. “Don’t know why. I’ve dated as many people as you have, Prongs.”

“Yes, but I think the point isn’t the number, it’s the, er…”

“The gender,” Peter supplied helpfully. He blushed as Sirius shot him a look.

“Look, we know Remus prefers blokes. So of the three of us, you’re the best person to go talk to him about this.”

James was making it sound as though Remus needed to be taught the intricacies of gay sex or something. It was just love, just infatuation. Sure he was getting on everyone’s nerves the way his mind drifted in the middle of conversations, or the way he couldn’t concentrate on anything any more. But on the up side the boy had stopped taking notes in class and nagging about homework in favor of doodling initials in little hearts and writing love poems all over his notebooks. Sirius even thought this was a much more appropriate way for a Marauder to be behaving, anyway. “Apparently I’m not the best person, because I don’t really see what the problem is,” Sirius said, shrugging.

“The problem,” James explained in a tone that told he’d said this several times before, “Is that Remus is acting funny. He’s not doing his work, he’s not worried about O.W.L.s this year, he’s not acting like a Prefect… he’s not acting like himself.”

Sirius shrugged. Casually, “Still don’t see what the problem—”

“The problem is that he’s going to snap out of this lovesick daze any moment now and realize his grades are down and he’d not lived up to the expectations of his parents or Dumbledore,” James continued quickly as Sirius tried to interrupt with another protest. “I know those things don’t matter to everyone but you know how sensitive Remus is about them. It was a leap just to let him come to school. He wants to show that he’s just as good as everybody else so he works hard at it.”

With a sigh, Sirius nodded. Problem was, Remus was finally being just like everybody else, not that bookish nag who always made Sirius feel a slight bit guilty for napping during transfiguration or charming all the Slytherin water goblets to hold frogspawn instead of plan water. “I’ll go talk to him,” Sirius said, giving in.

Peter grinned, showing he was glad of it for it meant he did not have the job. James stared at him. “What, now?!” moaned Sirius resentfully. James’ look was firm, and Sirius growled and turned. He pulled back the hangings and slid off the bed.

At least he had the whole walk down to the library to think about how to approach the subject and then what to say to Remus afterwards. But after being distracted by a painting of Robert Augustus the Third who was clearly mad but frightfully entertaining by having a tea party with three dogs, and then stopping to talk Quidditch with a Hufflepuff girl who liked the same team, he got to the library and realized he had no clue.

He looked around, finding Remus at the far table, a stack of books beside him. Well, if Remus was working, maybe it meant he was back to his old self already and didn’t need a talking to. But as Sirius approached, he saw that same dazed look in his friend’s eyes and noticed that Remus hadn’t made a single scratch on the parchment which sat on the table in front of him. Sirius sighed and walked over, taking the seat in front of Remus, turning it around, and sitting backwards in it. He crossed his arms over the top of the chair’s back and rested his chin upon them. “Moony, we need to talk.”

“Sirius!” Remus hissed softly, waving his hand to indicate Sirius should move over.

“I said,” snapped Sirius, “That we need to talk.”

“All right!” Remus whispered, irritated. “Just move your arse!”

One end of Sirius’ mouth curled up in annoyance, and he hopped around to the other side of the table. He took the chair beside Remus instead. “Happy now?”

Remus, chewing his lip a bit as he stared forward still, nodded. It seemed that he’d already tuned out the conversation and it had not yet begun.

Sirius leaned forward to get past the stack of books, and tried to get a look at whatever Remus seemed so keen to watch. There were a couple tables of younger students in front of them. Most were girls, however, and the couple of boys there were first years. Sirius narrowed his eyes. “Oh, Moony. Don’t tell me you’ve got a thing for little kids,” he groaned. His best friend was a pervert. “I mean, they’re only eleven. Their cocks—”

“Padfoot! Shut it!” Remus snapped, going quite red in the face. Worriedly, he looked away from whoever he’d been watching and turned to Sirius instead. He grabbed a book from the stack and propped it up in front of him on the table, then ducked down so it hid him from view of all but Sirius. “I do not have a thing for little kids.”

Sirius looked confused. He leaned forward again and looked over the top of the book. There wasn’t anyone their age in the library, and unless someone was in an invisibility cloak, there weren’t any sixth or seventh year boys there either. Could it possibly be that Remus had started liking girls? He sucked his head back down to converse with Remus. “Then I don’t get it. Who…?”

Remus’ cheeks were bright red with embarrassment, and he looked down at his feet. “The… the new assistant librarian,” he said in a soft whisper, barely audible.

Sirius popped up straight in his seat, pushing away the books. “What, Mister Mitchell?” he exclaimed. His eyes rested on a man who was busy shelving books from the return cart. He was using his wand to levitate them into the air with ease, then running a finger along the spines of the books on the shelves to find where each was to go. Sometimes he would direct the book there using the charm, and sometimes he would pluck the book out of the air and shelve it manually. He was a handsome man, tall and skinny but with long black hair he’d pulled back into a stylish ponytail. Even his robes, though standard and conservative black, had a certain style to them as he’d pushed up the sleeves, scrunching them just above his elbow, and he hadn’t buttoned up the front all the way. A bit of his white t-shirt could be seen at the collar.

Sirius was tugged back down by an anxious Remus. “Don’t look!” he begged.

Sirius shrugged. “Really, Remus, he’s not actually yours. Other people are allowed to look at him you know.”

Remus pulled the books back over, blocking them both from sight again. “I’m not being protective. I just…” he looked back down at the floor. “I don’t want him to see that I’m staring at him like that.”

Thinking of how Remus had just been staring unblinkingly and obviously at the man, Sirius had to chuckle. But the flush in Remus’ cheeks and the hurt in his eyes clearly showed this wasn’t the time to laugh. “You actually fancy Mister Mitchell?” Sirius asked, more softly now.

Remus nodded. “He’s fantastic. And so handsome. I’ve never seen anyone so attractive. Those round cheeks and that long black hair—”

Sirius pouted. “I’ve got black hair… I could grow it out,” he said, dragging his hand through his hair.

“And such a wild style, but quiet and reserved—” Remus continued.

As did Sirius, “And I can be wild, remember when I—”

Remus grabbed Sirius’ arm and pulled him up a little, silently instructing him to peek over the top of the book at the librarian.

“Moony…” Sirius said, head turning back to his friend.

“Just watch!” Remus whispered. They watched for a few minutes as the wizard picked up a book, leafed through it, then set it on the shelf with care. He continued to shelve as he had been doing, both with magic and manually, and Sirius was started to get bored watching and wondering if the professors would get on his case if he started wearing his robes with the top button unbuttoned too. But then he felt Remus’ hands grip his forearm fiercely and he noticed that Mister Mitchell had just bent down to get a book from the bottom shelf of his cart. He straightened back up and ran his finger along the books to locate its place.

Remus sunk back down, pulling Sirius down again as well. “Have you ever in your life seen a finer arse? I mean, have you?”

Sirius grinned and he started up with a joke. “Well…” His eyes met Remus’ briefly, then he looked away, unable to make it into a joke. Mister Mitchell’s rear was indeed perfection. But then again…

“Oh, Padfoot,” Remus sighed, getting that dreamy look again. “He’s just wonderful. He loves books as much as I do and he’s so attractive. And I saw him leafing through a copy of ‘Magical Affairs of the Heart and Soul’ so he’s got to be gay.” He sighed again as Sirius decided not to inquire about the book though he added it mentally to a list to read. “I mean, I just think about all the lovely things I could do to that man and I get all warm. For the first time ever, I’m in love. Hopelessly in love. And it’s wonderful.”

Sirius sighed and paused, wishing he’d gone over at least this part of the conversation on the way down. “Look, I know that’s how it seems…” he said slowly. “But the man is, what, twenty five?” Remus nodded. “That’s ten years older than you. Even if there was something there it’d be illegal for him to actually be with you. Besides, you don’t really know anything about him- other than he likes books and he’s got a hot arse.”

“What else would I need?” Remus asked, looking dead serious.

Sirius looked away, shaking his head. “Remus,” he said with a sigh. “Just think about it…”

But Remus did not seem to want to think about it. “Haven’t you ever had a crush on a teacher, Sirius?”

Sirius laughed quietly. “Who? Kettleburn? Binns? McGonagall? I mean have you actually seen our professors?” He screwed his face up into a look of disgust and shuddered dramatically. Remus joined in with the laughter at this. “What I was trying to say was that there are other… other qualities, other things. I understand you don’t want to think about that now because he’s a lovely bloke.” He picked up Remus’ hand and squeezed it. “I just don’t want to see you do something you might regret. And I don’t want to see you get hurt, all right? You don’t deserve to be hurt…”

Remus sighed. He glanced over the book at the man, and then looked down, shaking his head. “No… I’m an idiot. I know he’s not going to want me when he could have anybody.”

Sirius’ eyes burned at this, as he looked back at Remus. “Don’t ever say that. You’re a catch. Sirius’ eyes burned at this, as he looked back at Remus. “Don’t ever say that. You’re a catch. Anybody who doesn’t want you is insane.”

Remus smiled sheepishly. “Really Pads?”

He pulled his hand away, nodding. “Yeah,” he said quickly. “But it might not happen with this one. I just don’t want you getting your hopes up.” He forced a cough to act as a transition. “But, look, the others wanted me to come down here and kick your arse into gear. Personally I think it’s great you’re going all dopey over a guy because everyone’s been there at one time or another. But the others are worried about your grades and responsibilities and all that shite. And you have been acting out of it lately. You follow?”

Remus laughed, nodding his head. “All right.”

“And you know I don’t care about that but I don’t want them yelling at me for not telling you. So do your homeworks and take notes and be a good prefect again, and find time around that to drool over the hunk in the library. Because if you don’t do that other stuff first, and this crush just turns out to be just a crush, you know you’ll regret it.”

There was a soft pause, in which Remus stopped laughing and turned a bit serious from the words. “And you don’t want to see me doing something I might regret,” said Remus automatically, calling those words up.

“Yeah,” said Sirius awkwardly. “Yeah, exactly.”

Remus nodded. “Thank you.” He reached over and lowered the book. Remus gave Mister Mitchell one more look, then shoved his books, parchment, and quill into his bag. Sirius was glad to see Remus being his old self again. He led the way out of the library and back to their dormitory. “Hey,” Remus called as they walked up the fourth flight of stairs.

Sirius turned, walking backwards to look down at Remus several steps below him. Yet he still managed to skip the invisible stair that was eighth from the bottom and the one second from the top that squeaked like a chalkboard when you touched it.

“You said everyone goes though these times… these insane crushes…” he said, flushing a bit at bringing this back up as a conversation topic.

“Sure they do,” Sirius nodded. “Everyone gets a bad crush on someone they can’t actually have. It’s just part of learning about love. But you use it to realize what you want out of love… and you soon figure out that sometimes all you can do is admire from afar.”

Remus nodded. He’d always valued Sirius’ intelligence, but hadn’t ever heard him speak so wisely and candidly all at once. Maybe love was just one of those topics even he couldn’t joke about. “So… if it wasn’t a teacher, who was it you thought you were madly in love with?”

Sirius’ Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed hard and broke eye contact. He faked a stumble on the stairs from walking backwards and turned back around to catch himself. “Hey, you should see that painting of Robert Augustus the Third up here. He’s completely off his rocker…” Sirius sped up to lead the way, leaving Remus struggling to keep up. But Sirius didn’t slow. He knew Remus would get there in the end. Just had to give him a little more time.